Therapy for You

Porn Addicted. Cheating. Distressed.

“I left my phone on the table, when I returned – I could tell by the look on their face that they knew.”

“I can’t stop my searching. I even build it into my day. That is how I’ve controlled it.”

“I told myself that I wouldn’t let it get this far – now I’m stuck and whatever I do now will hurt people – and there is no empathy for me.”

You are a smart and caring person.

You’ve had many successes. You are respected in the work that you do.

But at home or in the privacy of your own heart – you know that if other people knew the secrets that you carry, they would think less of you, because you would, too.

Those who are closest to us can be the most judgmental about our actions.

I will not judge you.

I will help you like I have many others going through the same thing.

Whether your pornography taste is leading you to spend money on it and won’t let you put your device away or leading toward illegal content – I will help.

Whether your affairs are virtual, paid for escorts, sexual and emotional cheating with co-workers or new conquests – I will help.

Whether your behaviors are leading you toward isolation, potential separation, or too much anxiety – I will help.

Sexual addictions and compulsions have a way of ruining lives and relationships that no drink or drug can match and few professionals can effectively treat.

I offer permanent solutions for motivated individuals and couples experiencing pornography addiction and sexual compulsivity by addressing the core issues that drive these behaviors leading to having the life and relationships that they deserve.

There are few things in life more terrifying than losing control…

…and losing everything and everyone that you hold dear.

You have risked losing the person that you love, access to children, friendships, your job, and the loss of financial stability and comfort of living that you currently possess.

You know that it was not worth the risk, yet you did it and possibly keep doing it right now.

If you don’t have that much to lose, it is possible that your sexual addiction is preventing you from having the quality of life you want.

It is shocking to discover the negative impact of our actions on others and ourselves – and for now, all you can offer are promises that even you don’t fully believe.

 

Imagine discovering something about someone you love that you didn’t believe possible.

Imagine how you pictured yourself reacting differently to this news and what it’s like for your partner.

If you have discovered an affair, you feel tempted to just leave the relationship — that is what you were told to do growing up – but you feel there is hope. You want to feel safe, and you wonder if that’s possible given what’s happened. You wonder if the only way to feel safe is to leave and lose everything.

And you – especially now – cannot trust these promises after being lied to, misled, forgotten about, and betrayed.

You have reached your breaking point!

You want help and won’t settle for anything but the best help available.

It is time to act and invest in a better self, better life, and better relationships.

You deserve customized, you-focused, effective care.

You’re a unique person with specific needs, so a cookie-cutter 12-Step program just isn’t enough.

No… you need a customized treatment plan that properly matches your situation, temperament, and personality.

I will identify throughout each session and treatment plan the most efficient method to implement resulting in the fastest, deepest change.

Using my knowledge and experience of many psychological intervention strategies coupled with my ability to psychoanalyze and read people, the therapy process will be much easier because I will be tailoring my methods to your strengths!

A Quick Case Study

Traditional couples therapy can be a funny experience. They tend to ask both people the exact same question, in the exact same way – Why do they do this?

Are they blindly applying the same approach in all situations?

Are they favoring one of the two people in the couple by playing to one’s strengths and not the others?

Is this not a divisive and ineffective approach from the onset?

Successful individual and couples counseling is to adjust my approach effectively and consistently to each specific person which honors their unique strengths, person-hood, and value.

You deserve better than cookie-cutter therapy.

We’ll strategize and make efficient use of our time together, and we’ll get you the permanent results you’re looking for!

The problem is never the problem.

Here’s an example of what I can do for you…

Thomas* and Jessica* had a wedding date booked eight months from when they came to see me.

Thomas, 34, is a teacher who likes to work with his hands and offers short answers to questions. He has been dating Jessica for nine years. Jessica, 31, works in the finance industry, wants a family, and she becomes silent when upset. She assumed Thomas watched pornography but never asked – then she discovered that Thomas was, indeed, watching pornography.

That’s not all, he had been paying ‘cam girls’ for the last few months raising his credit card bills – then she saw a text from one of his co-workers… on a second cell phone he secretly kept.

They both went to 12-Step programs for sex and love addiction, read self-help books, tried several therapists, and Googled and researched their relationship problems and what was perceived as Thomas’s sexual compulsivity problem exclusively to the point of going crazy!

They both felt as though nobody could help them — and feared the shame of cancelling the wedding that had relatives coming from overseas.

They came separately, initially, because of the dis-empowering therapy they had previously received.

Despite their obvious pain – they wanted no regrets if they were to cancel their wedding and end this relationship of nine years. They were motivated by love and by fear of making a mistake. I love working with that level of determination.

Despite the obviousness of Thomas’s sexual and betraying behavior – betraying both Jessica and his own values: treating the obvious didn’t help them before – so I targeted what I saw immediately as some of the underlying problems.

A common thread between both people was their passive-aggressiveness. Using role play and Gestalt therapy, Jessica worked on no longer withdrawing her love through silence and leaving Thomas by exiting conversations. Using psychodynamic art therapy and narrative therapy, Thomas’s short answers became deeper and more descriptive details of his inner experience that Jessica could connect with.

The majority of sexual addictions result from unresolved trauma leading to passive-aggressive behavior. By targeting the role of passive aggression in their lives – and teaching them to use their aggression to support themselves and their relationship – they were empowered to show up with their love and anger which freed them to be themselves apart and together.

I joyfully attended their wedding.

I remember Jessica’s mother giving me a big hug, as she knew all about me from her daughter. Thomas’s friends would approach me at the open bar to make sex therapy jokes.

Everyone has their way of showing gratitude.

You deserve the best possible therapy…

Therapy that is customized to you and your circumstances specifically.

You are ready. Act now.

Call me at (416) 723-2666 or click here for a free consultation or to book your first appointment.

*Names changed to preserve client confidentiality.